Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Pregnancy...the Second Time Around.

It seems so long ago since I was pregnant with my first baby, although it was just a little over 2 years ago.  Things are so much different this time around.  I'm already a mommy.  I've "been there done that" as far as pregnancy and delivery goes.  Strangely, all that doesn't prevent nervous feelings, questions and worries from entering my mind just like they did the first time I was pregnant.  Some are different worries, like how will I love another child like I love my firstborn?  and some are the same worries and concerns I had with my first pregnancy like what if something goes wrong? 
I'm pretty much what you would call a "worry wart" and have also been known to have some hypochondriac tendencies.  Example:  Years ago, I had a dull, recurring pain in my side and I convinced myself if was cancer (go ahead, laugh it up...)  Even with my first pregnancy, I experienced ligament pain early on and was sure I had an ectopic pregnancy.  Obviously I didn't since I have a beautiful 2 year old boy but that's just an example of how I can let my thoughts run wild and play tricks on me.  I am really trying to be better this time and not read, research and worry so much. 
But besides the fears about the health of my baby and the pregnancy, I think about how a new baby will change our family.  I don't want Hayden to feel left out.  I want him to feel just as special and loved.  He has been the center of our world for two years and soon he will be sharing us with a sibling.  And then there's the new baby...  It's so hard for me to imagine loving another child like I love Hayden.  I know it will happen naturally just like it did with Hayden, but it's still something I worry about.   
And there is of course the question boy or girl?  I can honestly say, I will be perfectly happy with either one!  I would love another boy and I would love a little girl.  Whichever God chooses to bless our family with is fine with me!  I already can't wait to find out.  The suspense is killing me as it did with Hayden.  It seemed like an eternity till we were able to find out the sex when I was pregnant with him.  I'll be honest, I don't know how people who choose not to find out the sex do it, I'm just not that patient! 
This new pregnancy brings lots of questions and uncertainties but also the hope of new life.  New life that will bring untold joy and happiness to our family.  I'm excited for us to take this journey together, the second time around. :)

All photos taken by Kristen (blog author) unless otherwise stated. Do not copy/save or print without permission. Thank you!

1 comment:

  1. Girl I had the same questions... mainly how in the world am I going to love another child like Hannah. I knew it would come and after 3 years when they both climb up in my lap I say " My 2 babies!!!" Loving them is the best thing in the world( besides the love of your husband) but that is a different feeling. 2 babies makes the world of difference, but you are such a great mother to Hayden and with experience the 2nd time around gets a little easier! :)


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